Graveful

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Wed, 08 May 2013 11:50:59 -0400

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Wed, 08 May 2013 09:53:30 -0400

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Wed, 08 May 2013 09:32:00 -0400

Blog: local suicide..

Wed, 08 May 2013 09:23:50 -0400

Suicide is always sad.. for the one who committed it, and for the loved ones who have to deal with the aftermath of said event. In the town I grew up in, a fourteen year old girl hung herself at school recently. While I didn’t know this girl personally, I feel sympathy for her and her loved ones. The rumor is that she was bullied, but she didn’t leave a note behind.. so the reason why, might and probably will never be answered. I remember how I felt as a teenager, living in Marion (Indiana), so I can understand why this girl would want to end her life. I was lucky enough to make it threw it, but sadly this girl wasn’t. I don’t know what was going threw her mind, I honestly don’t know anything about her, but I can understand the feeling because I’ve been in that state of mind before. And I remember very well what it felt like to be suicidal at such a young age.

Honestly, if given the chance, I would have been there for her -or anyone else struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts. Most of the time, it’s just having someone there to listen that helps.. which sadly, not everyone has. If I could help anyone, I would be more then happy to.

Recent DIY project: clearance netted fabric, used to make a...

Wed, 08 May 2013 08:47:00 -0400

Recent DIY project: clearance netted fabric, used to make a baggy jacket. I made a basic pattern from newspaper. Somewhat simple sewing project, thinking about making a sleeveless version with the leftover fabric.

Recent DIY project: I turned old band shirts into pillows. :3

Wed, 08 May 2013 08:43:00 -0400

Recent DIY project: I turned old band shirts into pillows. :3

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Tue, 07 May 2013 00:10:52 -0400

Blog: wtf was I thinking..

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 10:19:54 -0400

I changed my username back to graveful, which was originally what I choose whenever I signed up. I undershaved my hair again, going to dye it back to black tonight. I think I’m over whatever phase I was going threw.. I guess we all have our awkward phases now and again.I guess.. that when I started getting depressed, I took a step back from most of the things that I loved. When I started feeling better, a little happier, I still didn’t feel fulfilled. I thought that a relationship might do that, which it started to.. but ended up making me feel completely horrible. I’ve been thinking, the past few days about when I last felt like I actually liked my life.

And I realized that I missed all the little things.. getting up, having coffee and cigarettes, while listening to The Cure. Deciding what I wanted to do that day, spending hours getting ready.. hair, makeup, and picking out an outfit. By noon, I’d be leaving the house, or just sitting around the house, either on the computer or reading a book. What I was missing was the gothy type activities.. their the reason I get out of bed, and I can’t believe that I pushed it all out of my life. Sure, not all at once.. but still, that’s why I’ve felt so empty and lost the past few months.

Isn’t it weird though.. how music and fashion, can start a lifestyle? And how much you can really depend on it for fulfillment, enjoyment, and happiness?

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Sun, 21 Apr 2013 20:25:35 -0400

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Sun, 21 Apr 2013 19:55:04 -0400

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Sun, 21 Apr 2013 19:52:03 -0400

"Stop trying to ‘get it together’. The biggest lie we’re told when we’re growing up is that soon as..."

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 22:39:41 -0400

“Stop trying to ‘get it together’. The biggest lie we’re told when we’re growing up is that soon as we’re adults, as soon as we’re in college, finish college, get that job, have that steady income, find that someone special, ‘find ourselves’, find that perfect house, get that retirement fund, have those children, everything will fall into place. Here’s a secret: it won’t. Every new development in your life, good or bad, big or small, will come with its own very special set of challenges. The sooner you accept that, the better off you’ll be.”

- Unknown (via blua)

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Fri, 19 Apr 2013 22:30:36 -0400

Blog: blue hair, guns, and heartbreak.

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 22:20:53 -0400

I had take a step back from a lot of things recently, including tumblr. When things ended suddenly with Jim, I completely shut down. I felt like my heart was ripped out and smashed beyond repair, not that it was even whole to start with. It came as a complete shock, and I still don’t understand why. But, I have come to accept that it’s over between us. I spent about a week drunk, bent over a toilet every night. I cut nearly all of my hair off.. but, that’s what I needed I guess. Regardless, I’m to the point of moving on with my life.

I learned how to shoot a gun, bought more items for my sailor moon collection, and I’m thinking about dying my hair blue next week. I think that I’m going to attempt raw foodism again. I’m closer to being done with school. I’m thinking about saving my money, so I can travel or something when I finish school. This summer, I think that I’m going to actually try to tan and become more serious about fitness. I’m to the point where I have to change, not just that I want to.. I can’t stand being the person I was, nor the person I currently am. I hate them both, I can’t continue living my life either way.

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Mon, 01 Apr 2013 10:16:32 -0400

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Mon, 01 Apr 2013 09:38:28 -0400

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Mon, 01 Apr 2013 09:28:28 -0400

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Sat, 30 Mar 2013 11:31:03 -0400

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Sun, 24 Mar 2013 12:40:39 -0400

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Sat, 23 Mar 2013 22:48:18 -0400